Eyes Wide Open

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 This was written in 2020.

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There are two things which can alter someone’s life completely. One is becoming a parent. The other is getting married. In a few months I will be completing 30 years in this world without having faced the above two things. My feelings slightly tilt towards glee rather than gloom. I have to admit that there was not a great deal of planning that went into achieving my current situation. There was a plan though. A vague plan, a conscious plan, but not a well thought out plan.

During adolescence and late teenage years when you get a sense of what relationships are all about, you kind of have a thought as to how you want your romantic and marital life to be. You will later realize that those thoughts were mostly influenced by what you saw in the movies and what you saw your peers do. The thought back then, was to get married when I would be 27 or 28. And it had to be a love marriage. That was very important. A point to be noted is that this was a time when I wasn’t even sure what or where or how my career was going to be. Long hail our Indian romantic movies where so much of an importance is given to the lead pair’s careers.

What could be the usual reasons for wanting a love marriage? It seems cool with all the conditioning from the movies, you get to understand each other, arranged marriages are old school and boring etc. Although I am not completely sure, I am fairly certain that these were part of the reasoning for myself. Also, there was a conscious one. The thing I have found fascinating about love marriages is that the most important life decision for the two persons involved is taken by those two persons. It was important for me that I take the most important decision of my life and not my parents and relatives. It was important for me that the person who was going to marry me took the most important decision of her life considering just my qualities and not the qualities of my family. If you aren’t noticing, this is where I slide in the fact that my sense of myself is a very huge Capital ‘I’.

There were years of college and there were the years of early and mid-twenties. Perfect time for my vague and not so thought out plan to have happened. A different turn of events and I would probably be writing on this subject in a different way. But here I am as a near thirty-year-old man, with a salvaged career and talking about marriage. I’m a not a believer of what-ifs. This is an opportunity to remove the ‘not-so’ from the not-so-thought-out notion I have had all these years. Let’s do that.

Life is a game which everyone has to play. There are no trials. Marriage is somewhat similar. At least we treat it that way. Marriage is a game which everyone chooses to play and then figure out if they are good at it or if it’s something not meant for them. We might tend to think that being in a relationship is a trial before marriage but I feel that the stakes aren’t real enough to give us a sense of what marriage is all about.

Anecdotally many people are not happy in a marriage but why do we keep pushing ourselves into it? Perhaps it’s the way human society legitimizes romantic relationships.

பொய்யும் வழுவும் தோன்றிய பின்னர்

ஐயர் யாத்தனர் கரணம் என்ப

The above is a reference from Tholkappiam, the oldest available Tamil literature. It means that marriage was created when lie and immorality started appearing in relationships.

There are references aplenty for love and marriage in Tamil literature but not so much for the right partner selection. It has mostly been out of love or for strategic purposes. But things are vastly different now. A good percentage of people realize the importance of finding the right partner. Its just that we either end up not defining who our right partner would be or succumb to the subtle pressures of the family.

When most of us think of a happy marriage or a happy relationship that has to win the test of time, we think of the love between the two. Love is great. Love is beautiful. Most art forms that we have created are based on the subject ‘Love’. “Love is the one thing we are capable of perceiving that transcends dimensions of time and space”, claims my favourite film maker Chris Nolan through a dialogue in the movie Interstellar. As we mostly are star-struck by the notion of love, we tend to forget that falling out of love is as much possible as falling in love.

I think love is only part of the answer. I myself stand as first hand witness to quite a few older couples having absolutely nothing but contempt for each other. It is not hard to imagine these same couple being fond of each other and full of love at the beginning of their marriages. What led them to the current scenario? What is the missing piece if they had love to begin with?

I think the missing piece is a feeling of respect. The respect I talk of is not the one that comes out of a position of knowledge or authority. It’s the appreciation that we have for someone’s judgement and sensibility. With this sense of appreciation, you won’t look down on your partner even when they do mistakes. Love for one another can bring two people together but I guess it’s the mutual respect and appreciation that keeps two people together.

Respect and appreciation are going to keep away criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling. It is these four feelings, over time, will lead to a divorce according to John Gottman. John Gottman, you must know, is famous for predicting the success of any marriage with 83% accuracy, after observing a couple in conversation just for 15 minutes.

So, what do you do? “Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards”, said Benjamin Franklin. I don’t think someone can put it better than this. You have to be brutally honest to yourself as to if you are the right person for the other and vice versa. Beyond attraction and love ask yourself if you respect and appreciate the other person’s thought process. Ask yourself if the other person respects and appreciates you. I am not qualified to talk about post marriage timeframe. But I strongly feel that it is necessary to get into a marriage with a mindset to give and take. As the wise man has said keep your eyes half shut when you are married.

Life is Beautiful

We have proclaimed ourselves as the dominant species of this planet in spite of a not so striking physical structure when compared to certain other species. Ironically human infants are the most helpless of all mammal off springs. We spend a lot of years growing up and it’s only fair, considering the challenges waiting for us out in the real word; most of them human made.

Time has always been time, moving in its own steady pace waiting for none and nothing; like a boss. Human perception has labelled time as slow and dragging until the late end of the 19^th century and now people have got time for nothing. Impatience is the new mantra; or at least they make us believe so. The world knows of the American Dream and the people of other developing countries are hopefully awaiting their own versions. In the thick of all these is life prospering in this fast forwarding world or is it struggling to keep up to it?

The idea of being the dominant species is a much generalized one. No individual Mr. X or Miss. Y thinks about it because as individuals we are occupied with a lot of other pressing things; things like clearing school and college, fetching a decent job, finding a life partner, securing one’s life with a comfortable retirement plan. Whether these expectations are self-made or were thrust upon us by the society is a whole new argument.

Life as such is simple. Maybe it’s not as simple as in the animal world where every life is born with an equal chance whereas here with our ever so efficient and equivalent social systems lives are born with different social statuses which are going to chase them life-long. But on a positive note one can say people with lesser means have a natural hunger to succeed and that ought to cancel out the head start which the people with a better social status enjoy. But the real problem with us is never about the money or is it? The real problem is more of a subjective thing, our emotions and feelings. Its these subjective things that give meaning and importance to the objective things such as money. In reality, reality itself is just what is left off after our emotions are done dealing with actual reality.

Confucius, the Chinese philosopher, said that life is really simple but we insist on making it complicated. Quite true and these complications arise because of our choices are being made not by intellect but by our emotions. And because of these emotions even though we have a thousand things to be happy for, we still mull over the one thing that worries us.

Don’t blame it all on the emotions and feelings just yet; cos these emotions are only synthesized by our brain based on how we interpret the things going on around us. Two different persons might portray entirely contrasting emotions towards a same situation. So it just boils down to the type of person you are.

Imagine a growing up kid; so full of excitement about the things he/she learns every day; so full of happiness. 

It doesn’t mean that grown-ups don’t have anything new to learn. The world is filled with unparalleled awesomeness that this single life is not sufficient to see them all. Open your eyes and open your heart. Un-complicate yourself. It is for the same reason I am keeping this article short where easily it could have been a 100 page detailed essay. You can either choose to grow old and die or you can LIVE Life. You only get a single shot at this life; your call.

Swasthika Sang

Fair Enough???

Many a time, many a person might feel this world isn’t fair enough. Maybe that’s why people are trying to make themselves fairer instead. We are not talking about Mr/Ms. Right and Mr/Ms. Wrong here; it’s about the skin complexion that has clinched the front seat for a while now. They say we are defined by what we do, but it’s a sorry thing that we are looked upon by how we look; rather than by what we do.

The Indian mentality of preferring a fair toned individual might not be a mystery, but it’s not a solved puzzle either. Most bridal columns feature fair skin as a take away; movies, magazines and ads portray fair skin as the desirable tone, the number of fairness products available in the market and much more. All these situations pose us the question – Have we become colour-despotic? Racism has become a loose word nowadays and let’s not discuss that here.

Everyone would have affronted this bias at some point and we were made to accept it rather than ponder about it due to various internal and external repercussions. The country which, once, considered dark to be beautiful was wracked up by the British colonial rule of those who imposed themselves as the superior. They did leave but not their impact on the cultural setting. One can casually point that the idea of fair skin being the desirable superior dawned upon us then.

The learned Brahman was inherently fair skinned owing to the occupation he did under the shade. The other working classes tasked under the sun resulting in a darker complexion. The system based on occupation slowly turned into a senseless caste system. Later, in the last decade education was made available to all classes but the stereotype that a learned person will be fair skinned did not change, thanks to a warped society and self-prejudice. It was only a matter of time for the fair which was considered learned to become the fair which was deemed desirable and beautiful.

It was well played by the cosmetic companies in utilizing the stereotype that had been created and cash in on the people's insecurity. Fair & _____, the first child of Indian cosmetic market has a lot of siblings and cousins now and has grown immensely in the last decade. The sales figures are staggering and ‘poor’ India is soon to be a billion dollar market for cosmetics. The macho look is being forgotten and metrosexual look is preferred for the men. Indian men of today say, “Oh, we want to prettify ourselves too” and have jumped aboard the ship of fairness cosmetics. The galore of media campaigns lead by the big screen stars aggressively drills the idea deep into every individual.

The capitalist industry itself did not plot this scenario and cannot be blamed for doing business with it. Media 

only spreads an idea whereas the birth of a socialistic perception is from within a community. Likewise the fix should also come from within us. We were swimming with the tide so far and one need not be proclaimed guilty because they had this unfairness in them, but, it shall be a misdeed to have it even after realizing the fact that facial fairness is only a mask we are trying to wear which will make us performers and never even close to the true us.

It is an outright irony considering the fact that the white Westerners try to tan themselves and the brown South Asians try to whiten themselves. The human ‘never contend with anything mind’ could be responsible for this or it could be something else, but whatever it is, we have plunged ourselves into the depths of self-insecurity. We somehow managed to convince ourselves fair is desirable; we just need to dissuade ourselves now. Endeavoring to be fair can no longer be fair and unfair is fair enough.

Swasthika Sang

Clean Bowled

Clean Bowled _{But still batting}

Everyone would agree that The Pursuit of Happyness was one heck of a movie. The movie, even though not among the elite in IMDB, is deeply emotional and highly motivational. Something that is greater than the movie itself is the fact that it is a true story. Sadly, that story also proved that money is important for a man’s happiness.

Today we might go on echoing about following one’s passion, one’s deepest desires of the heart, blah blah blah. But the hard fact is that money is needed to meet a human’s needs. So if any person concedes his passion for the sake of himself and his dependents; that’s purely understandable. But, what’s not understandable is trading the thing which you are supposed to be passionate about in spite of having more than enough money in your kitty.

They say cricket is a game of glorious uncertainties. I doubt if it’s a game of fixed uncertainties. With the version being short, T20 was, is and will always be giving close encounters. But, with the recent rise of the spot fixing scandal more matches and players will be open to suspicion. The fact that BCCI is the richest sport organization does not help the cause either. It’s really appreciable how BCCI handled the cricket marketing over the past decade but one might wanna ask them ‘How much is enough?’

It’s a pity to note the extent of stupidity the players are baring in going for a few extra bucks via spot fixing. I mean, even if all they want is money, IPL is like a golden goose paying bucket loads every year. Spot fixing and getting caught is like killing the goose. When tempted with money some thoughtless fools are always going to fall for it. They better be ready for some tough action ‘cos BCCI has been ducking some bouncers of corruption of late and may be this time they will have to face it head on.

The call is for strict laws on fixing and betting which is very conventional. Why not go for the clear opposite. I mean, why not make betting legal? I just feel cheesy that I cannot brag this idea as my own paradigm because it’s been suggested by some already. Okay tears apart; let’s see what legal betting might bring to the game apart from money.

To start with, those who might oppose legal betting might sort the example of lottery tickets which is banned in 17 states of India. Oh yes, laws on betting are at each State’s government’s disposal. Lottery system did have an adverse effect on the middle class and the lower class. It made everyone to wait for some distant luck that never seemed to come. And also with my personal experience the state of Tamilnaldu has been doing much better without lottery. But, sports betting on the other hand, is a different ball game. Plus, horse betting and casino gambling is legal as they are considered “game of pure skill” and according to early constitution it’s legal to bet on “game of pure skill.”

No idea where that came from.

Legalizing cricket betting with modified set of rules such as

Licensing of approved bookies and betting houses.

Cap limit on the percentage of one’s income that can be placed as bets.

Levying higher tax on the winnings.

Am not qualified to give opinions on law, but, the above seem kinda good. Added to these the government can bring out certain other rules to sort out the legal ramifications involved. It will give the government extra income, the bookies will be under the radar and fixing can be reduced even though not completely eradicated.

Cricket comes pre-installed in all Indians from birth. In spite of the recent dents that cricket acquired due to spot fixing, I believe cricket craze will not diminish because when you love someone or something very much, after the storm is past, you will always overlook the bad qualities in them or those. Two best teams of this year’s IPL are facing off in today’s final. Let us hope yesterday’s controversy does not hinder the best of the best to come out on top.

Swasthika Sang

Boom

News about bombings and assassination attempts in some part of the world reach our ears every day or the other. In fact they have become part of the regular routine that when we feel indifferent, we enter into a situation of questioning our very human motives. Upon lighter thought one might be ascertained to think that the concept of terrorism is an irrational folly. But a little investigation will tell you that organized terrorism is nothing but rational.

It is intricate to interpret terrorism. How the word was perceived a couple of decades ago and how they are connoted now is very different. Something that is still in common is that there was and is a lot of loss of human lives. Freedom fighters, independent units formed to fight the colonial surge of another country, guerrilla units and a lot more were called as terrorists. Today’s terrorism is a lot more streamlined towards an express group of people whose motive is to disrupt normal human life.

The origin and rise of the Al-Qaeda will shed some light on Terrorism Begins. In the eighties when the Soviets invaded Afghanistan, the locals fought back. The US funded these locals as at that time they always had this anxiety that the Soviets might gain on them. The funding from the West and the Sheiks of Middle-East helped them secure even foreign recruits to their militia. Later when the Soviets had their own struggle and split, the war was over. The militia, which mostly consisted of uneducated and orphaned men, had nothing else to do, or, more appropriately, knew nothing else to do. There later amongst a few conflicts of interest between the West and Middle-East, arose a notorious man called Bin Laden. Rest is history.

Last month’s Boston Marathon Bombings was in contradiction with the other terrorist plots. The investigation gone so far has revealed the involvement of a few scattered individuals. One can say that the irrational minds of a few young people lead to it. But an act like this will need serious planning over a long period of time which does not go well with irrational minds. If a few irrationally rational minds are capable of such things, then what more peril awaits this world?

One more very disturbing and even more unfortunate thing is that most of the terrorist activities are attributed to people who follow Islam. While I am most certain that most Muslims would want to lead a calm and peaceful life like any other faction, there is this small portion of Muslims who are made to believe that there is a conspiracy going on against them on an international level. These people with their poor understanding of certain fundamental principles of their religion carry out the acts of terror.

While I am no master of any religion or religious belief, it is my understanding that people follow religion to keep themselves aligned to some principles. Principles that might lead someone through a path of spiritual, emotional and physical goodness to them and to those around them. What am sure of is that no religion would preach hatred and violence as that goes against the fundamental principle of human well-being.

But how and where it went wrong for Islam? The best explanation I can give is the wrong interpretation of the word Jihad. It means struggle. The misunderstanding came in the understanding of what struggle Jihad means. Most scholars feel it’s the struggle within the self to follow the righteous path shown by the almighty. A few others feel that it’s the struggle against those who oppose Islam. I am not sure if deeper investigation into this term by me will bring clarity or obscurity. These fewer Muslims are not helping themselves or their community as many hate crimes are targeted against other righteous members.

Religious writings were meant to serve humans barring time. But that does not mean that they can guide us all the time. This is a time when individual right to freedom comes second to nothing. Some of the religious myths of the yesteryears cannot be imposed at present. People of all groups and factions have to reconcile and words like dominance, hatred and ego should be kept lying in the dictionary alone. This new world we live in is very much powerful and if not treated right we shall lead it to destroy us. Universal harmony is the Need of the Hour. Love All and Hate None.

Swasthika Sang

Where are we heading???

We have been told that leading a successful life means adhering to some conventional unwritten rules. Graduating with a good percentage, securing a stable job, acquiring phony assets and some others fall under this category. Once those so called achievements which almost every average human being will be able to achieve are achieved, the achievers become happy.

One pronounced quality about humans is that they tend to show good will when they are happy. Some pay their thanks to God, the Almighty; some treat the people around; some others do something for the society. I am not much different; after all I am one of us. So, some part of my mind wanted to do something to this extolled earth which has held us since the beginning of beginings.

That thought barely exists in my mind now, for I have changed. We think change occurs tout de suite but it doesn’t. We assume certain crucial incidents bring about the change but they only point out the change that has happened in us. In the past few months there has been no short of those incidents. The infamous ‘Delhi Case’ and the beheading of a soldier in LOC might elude the memories of us with time but now they are still fresh.

Most often when brutal and barbaric behavior is noted in humans it is termed as animalistic behavior. I have to say that I strongly disagree with it. Animals act by instinct, hunt for hunger and attack for self-protection. We have that so called sixth sense still act much more devilish than animals. Maybe a new term should be given for that sui generis human behavior.

The above mentioned are just two of many which are happening all over the world. Thinking about all these, one question arises in my mind – Where are we heading? We believe that with the technical advancements, we are marching towards an era of human glory. But I fear that behind that thin layer of prosperity and glory there is a huge wall of destruction hiding from us.

Most of the crimes and incidents like these are not planned and executed. They just happen out of the beauty of human mind. It takes in everything that goes on around over the years and when that moment arrives which challenges the basic human mind’s architecture, those things come out in a very different way; a way which we hadn’t even dreamt of.

The thing which makes us drive forward amongst all these scenes is the hope that there are at least few good minds. It is like two faces of a coin; it’s just that the good side is rusted with only a few bright spots.

I don’t know if there is a solution to all these; just a couple of thoughts. At the end it all leads to what we let into our mind with or without our knowledge. Our actions will be only as good as our thoughts. Another thing is about the 4 C’s. Okay, you would have heard about the 3 C’s – Colour, Caste, Creed. The fourth C is Country which comes as my personal addition. Unity within the first three divisions have well been documented at times of dire need but unity amongst countries is a very hard thing to come by. Maybe we will have to be attacked by aliens in order to witness that.

Easier said than done I know. Things might happen to any of us. So in a way we need to secure this world for our own cause of fulfilling our own wishes. Respect others and you will respect yourself.

Swasthika Sang

Shhh!!!

Long gone are the days when someone actually has to commit a crime to get arrested. There is cyber-crime where one need not commit it physically. But, how will you feel when you get arrested for a status update in a social networking website? If you have been following the news, you will know that am not just contemplating.

A week back, one of the polemical Indian politicians passed away. The city of Mumbai was shut down throughout the day of his funeral. A young woman expressed her unrest in the form of a facebook status update. We know what happened next.

India boasts as the biggest democratic in the world and its people enjoy certain basic rights and amongst those comes the freedom of expression and free speech. The actions which took place seem to contradict the above stated rights.

Within a day of the arrest, there was a lot of criticism directed towards the police and the government. Also, the woman’s account was hacked, several fake accounts were created along with fan pages under the woman’s name. I am wondering if these are methods of showing support or exploiting the situation. Bottom line – The public or more specifically the Virtual Public felt that the police action on the women was harsh and uncalled for.

“Respect is earned, not given and definitely not forced. Today Mumbai shuts down due to fear and not due to respect. People like ________ are born and die daily and one should not observe a bandh for that.’’ These were the lines that lead to the subsequent events. Let’s forget the laws and the rules. Does it lie within human morals to defame a person who had just died? While I strictly condemn the arrest made, I believe the woman could have shown her dissent in a different way without directly attacking the deceased man.

Even before this incident, there has been a raging debate going on about the increasing number of hate speeches that are alleged to happen in this world. On one hand, freedom of expression has given a loud voice to a lot of minorities who fight for their cause and on the other hand, it has been used intentionally to hurt and insult the sentiments of certain minorities. Where to draw the line between free speech and hate speech?

Certain countries have laws against hate speech. Even our Indian government spearheaded by Kapil Sibal tried to censor the contents of social media. If it does happen at any point of time, it will have a good start for sure. People with heinous intentions will think twice before posting dubious content. But, on the longer run it has the potential to be used as a tool to curb or silence the critics and oppress the minorities.

Decades back, only the writers and orators had the power to reach the masses and convey their ideas. Now, thanks to social networking, everyone with access to the internet has become a proponent. It’s a good thing that people have found a way to voice their opinions but, they must also realize the power of ideas. When someone gives an opinion about you, it’s going to stay in your mind for a very long time; also it’s going to have an influence on your actions henceforth. Ideas have the same effect when it reaches more than one person.

Laws and censorship are not the answers to the problem of Free Speech Vs Hate Speech. Ethics and moral values should be realized by the humans themselves. If we have to protest against something let’s voice opinions for our own cause and not to insult or hurt someone. Free world and free speech doesn’t mean that one can take everything for granted.

Swasthika Sang

Gender Bender

Time has never been so fitting to discuss the social issues and evils faced by women.

On one hand – A fifteen year old girl was brutally shot for her propaganda on girl education; rate of violence and harassment against women is on the rise each day. While on the other hand – Nkosazana Dlamini Zuma becomes the first woman to take charge as the chief of the African union; Kumud Srinivasan is appointed as the head of India operations for Intel.

So, two entirely opposite conditions are prevailing in the same world. Why is this difference?

Let us dismiss the current situation from mind and go to the beginnings of all this – The Fundamental question. What is the purpose of gender? On an animalistic note, it is for the mere purpose of reproduction. But, we humans claim ourselves to be more than just animals. We devised something called as culture which was meant to override nature. We set up families and created a bond between males and females in the name of relationship. So by culture, it becomes implicit that the gender difference in humans is not for the mere purpose of reproduction. It means much more and relates to everything we do.

By nature, no species tries to dominate its opposite gender. In every species males and females carry out their work instinctively without any comparison. Even humans were like that once. As told in one of my previous articles, there was no problem when man was hunting and woman was at home taking care of the younger ones. As other means of occupation grew, the custom of man doing the outside work continued. But, little did women knew, that it was going to upset their own cause later on.

We started comparing men and woman based on the capabilities of men. Earlier studies were related as to why women had a smaller brain and smaller physique. One of the eminent naturalists, Darwin, stated that it was natural sex selection that made women inferior to men. Maybe the reasons put forward by him were right. But, why do such a study and declare women as inferior, while so many greater qualities were in their possession in comparison to men? Will it be acceptable to compare men and women in baby-care and decide who is better? If women are considered inferior to men in certain things, then it is most certain that men are inferior to women in their own specialities. But the point is not who is inferior or superior. It is about doing, what one feels good at doing.

Malala Yousafzai is a fifteen year old girl who is fighting a nation’s fight single handed. The fact that she was targeted by the Taliban, describes the utterly sick condition of the world we live in. Her fight is not only for girl education, but also for the cause of women in every field. I don’t see her age. I don’t see her gender. I only see her as a perfect example of a human. Her notes and speeches show her immense maturity and rational thoughts, in spite of the adverse conditions she had to endure over the last few years. A similar character who took the world by storm was Anne Frank, another young girl who unfortunately died at the age of sixteen. I salute and bow down to them. These two little girls have sent out a strong statement that women can take it to the next level when given the opportunity.

What is moral? Is it equal for men and women? Most definitely no. Should it be equal? I would say that the moral values expected from women are not their natural traits, but the traits which were conditioned into them by the society. As a result of western influence in our society, women are under the scanner like never before. Think again, am not saying women can do whatever they want. I propose to say that if women are bound to certain morals, so should men; and if men shall get away with whatever they do, so should women.

Once I saw an advertisement hoarding of a high school with an attractive female model on it. I was wondering if I should be surprised. I have always questioned the way women are portrayed as sex symbols in the media. Models and actresses are often criticised for exposing their skin for money. I don’t see a single reason why they should not, if they are comfortable doing so. As far as I know there are far less lesbians than straight men. So who are to be blamed for this; women or men? The society would not let a woman to enter a challenging field on par with men and when they find a way to make money, the society again plots a way to stop them.

A couple of years back there was a huge debate regarding the reservation of parliamentary seats for women. My suggestion to those women who wanted 33% reservation – Do not hang on to the cheap 33%. Do not fight for reservation in the future. Go for the maximum. If women prove themselves as better administrators, then the Lok Sabha deserves 545 women.

Amidst all these burning issues there is a small group of women who are cunning enough to use the current laws to their utmost self gains. The increasing percentage of pre-nuptial agreements in high profile marriages, display the effect of this small group. For these women I say – Equality is a right, not a privilege.

I firmly believe that the day will come when women will no longer need to fight to fulfil their rightful wishes; if not today, then explicitly tomorrow. The society never accepts a giant leap, in any form. But, on the day when it flourishes because of equality between the two genders, it shall be bashful for the lost time.

Swasthika Sang

The Verdict

The 2G scam, Commonwealth Games scam, Indian Coal Allocation scam or the Coalgate as put forward by the media, DLF-Vadra allegations and the list is about to linger further. In a fresh aspersion, the government is accused of receiving pay offs from Ispat Steel during the years when Virbhadra Singh was the Steel Minister. A document seized by the Income Tax Department in 2010 contains details of the pay offs, says a news report.

Regardless of the outcome of the last two accusations, things do not seem to go on track for the ruling United Progressive Alliance (UPA). With Trinamool Congress and Jharkahnd Vikas Morcha already withdrawing support recently, it is fair to say that the days of Dr. Manmohan Singh lead UPA government, are numbered.

Reviewing the Tamilnadu Assembly Elections of last year, might give some foresight of what is in store for the UPA. The then ruling DMK took a serious blow to its credibility, when the party faithfuls Kanimozhi and Raja became the prime accused in the 2G spectrum scandal. The effect was evident in the state elections as the DMK hit an all time low in accumulating votes.

Coincidentally, the UPA run Central Government is in a black cloud of corruption scandals and they are being hit with accusations over and over again. The results of the recent by-elections to fill the vacated seats of our President Pranab Mukherjee and Uttarakhand Chief Minister Vijay Bahuguna, serve as an ultimatum to the UPA.

One thing I have noticed over the years – Be it a sex scandal of a celebrity or a financial scandal of an organisation; once the first accusation hits the accused, repeated accusations starts flowing in, even if it’s from a decade earlier. One may never find out if the trailing accusations are true or simply directed to attain media publicity. So either one should keep his slate clean or prepared for a backlash.

Coming back to the UPA’s position, who is going to hit the jackpot when they slip up? Is it going to be the NDA again, led by BJP? The centre has failed to create a third party over the years and so one’s loss is simply the other’s gain. That’s what happened in Tamilnadu as well.

If the NDA does succeed, the most favourable candidate for the post of PM is arguably Narendra Modi, who has tightened his grip on party administration over the years; of course by his unique methods. Is he an authoritarian or an able administrator? May be he is a mix of both. Amidst the speculation of his involvement in the Gujarat riots in 2002 and his alleged authoritarian style of rule, he did manage to uplift the state on many fronts. But, if he does become the most powerful citizen of the country, certain subjects have to be pondered upon. How will the Indo-US relations get affected (?), with the latter holding onto a firm stance over Modi. Also certain European countries had cut off their ties with Gujarat. England resumed its ties very recently, but, other countries still retain their position. Will this affect India?

The recent wave of reforms put forward by the government needs time to bear fruit. With hardly 18 months to go maybe it is too little too late already. A look at the achievements of the two-term UPA rule tells that they have controlled unemployment woes, taken bold steps in the international level such as the Indo-US Nuclear Deal, achieved national highs in highway projects, increased FDI in infrastructure and a few others. But, will these be able to eclipse the rising inflation and various corruption related scandals? I don’t think so. What do the people think? The verdict is just over a year ahead.

Swasthika Sang

Mendependent India

With nearly 17 rape cases in the last one month, the state of Haryana is under the spotlight. The government has miserably failed; Bhupinder Singh Hooda is incapable of administration; blah blah blah. All the fuss created about Haryana recently, makes one wonder, if it’s really that big an issue. If the statistics are to be believed, 713 rape cases were registered in Haryana in the calendar year 2011, which accounts to nearly 59 per month. 59 and 17 (?); well, am not too sure about the seriousness of this issue. A cynic might be quick to retort that my statement is harsh on the current victims. No, I did not mean it that way.

The issue came into limelight, only after one of the victims decided that she had gone through enough and immolated herself. The opposition and the media were on to it, all of a sudden. My question is, ‘’What were you all doing when the previous crimes were perpetrated?’’

The opposition wants to dissolve Hooda’s government and they deem Sonia Gandhi’s visit to the victim’s family as a political stunt. While these people are so busy creating politics about this, none cared to come out with a solution. Hey wait; they did put forward a solution. The Khap panchayat members said that removing the restriction on marriageable age would be the fix. It will be dishonouring, even to my puny wisdom, to write a reply to that so called solution. Yesterday, the former Haryana CM, Om Prakash Chautala said, ‘’We should learn from the past. Especially in the Mughal era, people used to marry their girls early in order to save them from Mughal atrocities.’’ What’s next? Are they going to make condoms and contraceptive pills compulsory for these boys and girls to avoid teenage pregnancy? The fact that we are ruled by people with such archaic and primitive mindsets, gives me a sick qualm.

A little peek into the discussion forums gave another headache. Starting with the current issue, people end up with Hindus Vs Muslims and North India Vs South India. A few say that the accused men should be castrated. A few others even say that all men of Haryana should be castrated.

Punishment to the culprits and justice to the victims is a must, but, where is the solution to these barbaric crimes?

Dr. Abdul Kalam’s dream of India in 2020 is not just a pie in the sky. It is a calculated visionary. The human resource in India is in its prime; meaning most of the people fall between the age group of 20 to 40. Whilst this age group has a lot of potential on which Dr. Kalam is banking, this group can also go the downward.

Western culture has fully crept into the entertainment media, but, most part of our society remains conservative and the boy-girl norms still exist. The barrier created by stress and tension between boys and girls, continue to stand tall. Restriction and conservatism will only urge the adolescents to do malpractices. Allow them to mingle; give them sex education. They have to understand each other and build a moral bond of trust in between them. A boy, who grows into a man without the access of thoughts and feelings of a girl, would see a woman only as an object of pleasure. If the barrier between boys and girls are brought down in this generation, women empowerment and women equality will automatically ensue in the subsequent generation.

Mahatma Gandhi said that India would achieve true Independence and Freedom only when a woman is able to walk all alone at midnight and feel safe. Going by his lines, we have a long way to go for our Independence. Until then, we are not Independent; we are just Men-dependent.

Swasthika Sang

Lights! Camera! Action!!!

He dons larger-than-life roles, does gravity defying stunts, delivers sharp punch lines with inimitable style, carries an aura of charismatic look, he does not market himself or his movies, yet, he reaches millions of people added with all time high box office collections. That’s what brand Rajnikanth is all about. Don’t get too excited; this is not a solo ride with the Superstar. The Bachchans and Khans from the North, and a few others from the East and the South will complete the story of this generation’s Indian Cinema.

The Indian cinema will freely overcome the Hollywood, in numbers made, but, in terms of quality, one must accept that the latter is in a different grade altogether. Technology being one of the short comings, only tells half the story. In spite of the flicks from our top actors, our movies would be just laughable stock for the westerners. Being an Indian, I myself have been very critical and harsh whilst rating our movies.

In India, you can’t leave out one thing, from anything. If the word ‘politics’ crosses your mind, you are spot on. With many of our actors, later entering politics and a few taking the verso route, one has to wonder, if Indian Cinema is just a medium to attain fame. However, a direct comparison between the Indian Cinema and Hollywood may not be fitting.

Initially, movie making was in its right form of art in India. But later, it had to cater to the needs of a country driven by emotions and sentiments rather than reasons. A protagonist playing a common man, fighting for the people’s rights and well being, reached the people’s hearts as he served a saviour to them. He became equal to real life heroes to them. A perfect example is M. G. R and the people’s affection for him was only to be challenged by Rajnikanth later. It was in 1978 when M. G. R did his last film and incidentally that was the period, when the current Superstar entered the frame. Again the mantra was same; a common man. These two had reel lives in which they were fighting social evils, which the people wanted to live for real, but couldn’t, and had themselves satisfied by seeing their stars perform it for them. Rajnikanth, later went one step ahead, to portray larger-than-life roles which was also accepted by the masses. Much had to do with the conditions prevailing three decades ago, when, very few went beyond school.

Same can be said for the other language film industries, but, they only had a lesser effect on the people because politics and cinema were not intertwined in those regions then, as it were in Tamilnadu.

With the development of society and exposure to the outside world, the blind love of the people for their stars has reduced. One would expect the movies to change as well. But, today’s actors, who are likely to have grown seeing the exploits of Rajnikanth, still try to emulate him. That has led to a total mess and loss of quality; not to mention the presence of ego amongst actors, well evident from the lack of multi starrer projects. While this is the predominant case in South India, Bollywood functions right by the definition of word ‘Showbiz’. In creating a separate genre for themselves called ‘Masala Entertainment’, they daydream about leaving behind Hollywood.

Some good efforts sprout here and there, but are fizzled out by big productions houses. The time has come for Indian Cinema to step up to the next level. The trend of creating stories to an actor’s status should change. The hero is meant for the story and not vice versa. Inspirations should be drawn from the experiments carried out by the likes of Kamal Haasan, Aamir Khan and a few other directors. Remaking and adapting a story from other language isn’t a sin, but with many Indian movies being accused of blatant rip off from Hollywood movies, the producers should encourage more original stories.

I once started dreaming about becoming a script writer and director in the film industry, I still do, but that is only prioritised for the longer haul. I hope, when that dream is realised, Indian Cinema shall have changed. Or, let me be in Hollywood; am human after all.

Swasthika Sang

Taboo

L. G. B. T. Yes, I refer to Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender. If you feel like ‘eww’, now is the time to navigate to some other page.

We are a perfect society. Aren’t we? And how do we remain perfect? – By neglecting those who aren’t normal. So, being normal makes one perfect. Oh really?

Pankaj was born and brought up as a boy. As he (she) grew, he (she) developed a desire for girl clothing. In teenage years when the boys in his (her) class were developing infatuation towards other girls, Pankaj felt attracted to another boy. When her family discovered this, they were devastated. Her father used to beat her for her sexual orientation. After running away from home and spending years in dance clubs, she finally got her break from humiliation and discrimination. She is Bobby Darling, the Bollywood actress. The life of Rose Venkatesan, the television celebrity, is a similar one.

With Western decadence such as live-in relationships, premarital sex and divorce slowly finding their feet in the Indian society, there is no explication for the already existing anomalies regarding sexual orientation.

A commuter of the Southern Railways is assured to encounter transgender groups clapping their hands and doing a form of forcible begging, preferably targeting the males. One is dumbfounded at the extent they go, to get the money. They might be labelled as ‘hindrance’ to the public, but, what other options have we left them? Most trans-people are born as boy children and recognize their sexuality later. When detected earlier these, children are discarded by the families and they end up in a society which is no better in treating them. 

Very few like the above mentioned, succeed in their struggle against discrimination, but, amongst the rest, cases like begging, suicides, violence are common.

A less affected group is the homosexual ones. Less affected doesn’t mean that the society has accepted them; it’s just that these people can hide their orientation. Homosexuality is a mental disorder, it is a choice made, it can be cured by therapists are some of the myths regarding this; and they are nothing more than myths. These people face isolation in the family as well as in the society. And there is also the issue of cross dressers.

The real biological cause that stimulates a person’s sexual orientation is not yet found, but it’s damn well sure that it’s not their voluntary preference. As put forward by a sexologist – ‘’Being a man or woman is not only related to a person’s private parts. Gender is a social construct/idea that involves how a person acts and relates to themselves and other people in a society.’’

The Indian government legalised lesbian and gay relationships in 2009. In a recent report they also announced provisions for including transgender people in voter’s list when they were denied guardianship by their parents. Further, a Supreme Court notice directs the government to include the category of transgender people as a third category in providing various opportunities and facilities such as the passport, driving licence, ration card and admission to educational institutions.

These are all welcome actions, but, none of these would have any real effect unless the society accepts them. Whatever their gender may be, they are real humans with real human feelings. Giving respectable terms for them alone is not going to help. The society need not do anything special for their betterment; let’s just refrain from discriminating them.

For those trans-people – Consider that being normal is just another excuse for being ordinary. Normal is a standard set by irrational minds; it need not necessarily mean ‘perfect’.

Swasthika Sang

Seasoned Bloom

Most of the time, when it comes to making important decisions or making policies and rules or threading philosophies, only the elder people are looked upon. When seeking knowledge and advice, it is considered wise to approach an elder person. Is it their vast experience alone that gives them this credit? What do younger adults contribute? Can’t they make decisions?

The younger adults have raging hormones and extra energy getting pumped out of their hearts along with blood. In my personal experience, I have noted that when am having abundance of energy flowing through my veins, I have inclined myself more towards entertainment and fun. When am little tired to bring down the roof; that’s when I tend to be more productive. Also, having grown in an electronic age among gadgets, it’s no wonder that I find myself most creative only during the routine power cut of the day. The elders with their hormones having pacified and hearts needing a pacemaker, are more stable; and they still think gadgets are only for those with 007 status. So, is it really Younger versus Older ‘or’ Stronger versus Weaker. These are only from daily activities.

On a broader scale, such as life or business, it’s a little different. Many entrepreneurs and people from management studies, in their early twenties, come out with a lot of confidence that they can change the world, only to find out that they can’t. Why? It is ruled by the older people.

One can say that our own Dhirubhai Ambani, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Larry Page, Sergey Bin and a few others were youngsters when they started conquering the world. But, that’s just one half of the story we have been told. History doesn’t record the plight of those, who tried to storm the world but found scratching their heads years later. The latter half will overwhelm the former. Younger adults are ‘make it or break it’ type. Elders don’t break things; they don’t make things for that reason either. They are admirable in holding onto things.

They have a lot of experience, they know how the world works; so, why don’t they make things? When someone grows old, he gets a lot of people around, people who are dependable on him. So the risk that is required to make things; he doesn’t have the strength to take those risks. Why don’t they break things? Nearly the same reason; they know the value of what they are holding onto. The younger adults do have people around but they aren’t the dependable ones and they can afford to take the risks. Everyone knows why they break.

Younger see tomorrow and elder see today in development; younger see today and elder see tomorrow in sustainability. The success formula is a fusion of both. That’s why they say every team needs a mixture of both young and old. It’s like having a company with a younger CEO and an older Chairman.

Something that goes parallel to what we are discussing now is the field of coaching and teaching. Back during the days of 10^th and 12^th, when the academics were too rigorous, I used to wonder; why are these teachers pushing me so hard when they themselves haven’t achieved anything. I know now, what a witless grumbling that had been. One reason why certain people make excellent coaches and teachers is because those people failed, may be even failed miserably. So, they know exactly where someone could fail and they can prevent others from making the same mistake.

‘’The years teach much which the days never knew’’ – Ralph Waldo Emerson. I end with this quote as I feel Emerson told in a single line much of what I have tried in many.

Swasthika Sang